Bottle it up

I carry around an unwieldy bottle with all of my unthrown punches sloshing around sluggishly inside. I walk around and collect all sorts of things to put in my bottle: comebacks that I inevitably think of well past the sell by date; sharp retorts to scathing or judge-y questions or remarks; eyeballs rolling towards the sky at some stupid thing someone said, and of course literal punches in the face and forks thrust in eyeballs and kicks in the teeth that I decided would be imprudent to let loose into the world. At the end of the day, I walk down to the rugby pitch, pop open the cork, do some really cool transmogrifying of all the stuff I put inside, and tackle the shit out of people with it.

*For best results, rinse and repeat.


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